Chandra Robinson, AIA
Principal, LEVER Architecture
Treasurer, NOMA PDX

I am Not Resilient

What do you think about when you hear the word “resilience”? Initially, I think about technical design features like rocking walls and flexing diagrids and their role in allowing buildings to recover after seismic events. I think about how the most advanced building air filtration systems can at least partially protect occupants from unforeseen threats like wildfire smoke and airborne viruses. What I do not like to think about is how humans have to be resilient. It's an American value to be strong and fight; to never give up and to rise up when you have been pushed down. Resilience is bending and not breaking.

The reality is that almost everyone in the world has been pushed down a lot since the pandemic started. Many have been pushed much more than me. I am lucky. I am healthy. I have security in my career and security in my housing. By all accounts I should be emotionally resilient and able to scroll past news when I see politicians enact laws that take away people's rights. I should be able to bounce back when people who look like me are killed in the streets. The reality is that I don’t bounce back. I have bent and I have broken and I am building myself back up, but I am not the same anymore. Injustices hurt more every time I see them, not less. I suspect that many of you feel the same way. I hope that like me, you are not the same anymore.

Soon, we will have the opportunity to come together again in offices, industry events and community meetings. I will be thrilled when we can collaborate closely and in person. I am excited to have that easy rapport with colleagues and friends. However, when we do come together again, I want you to remember that we are not the same people who last worked together in March 2020. I do not want to go back to “normal” because normal was willful ignorance. Normal was narcissism. When we come together, let’s be different, let's be broken, let’s be better.